The Food-Mood Solution: All-Natural Ways to Banish Anxiety, Depression, Anger, Stress, Overeating, and Alcohol and Drug Problems -- and Feel Good Again

By Jack Challem

Summarized with permission of Wiley (www.wiley.com). All rights reserved.

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Begin Changing Life Habits

To restore balance and improve moods and behavior, it's crucial that people reduce the stress in their lives and make more time for themselves. While neuronutrient supplements can boost resistance to stress and improve moods and behavior, it is more effective to simultaneously modify the lifestyle patterns that contribute to stress.

Personal Boundaries

1. Learn to say no. People who have difficulty saying no are often the ones who invite boundary violations. They may say yes because they want to please or not offend another person. By saying yes, however, they end up sacrificing their own time and energy for other people.
2. Draw the line at work. Bosses and coworkers frequently violate boundaries. Occasional overtime may be a necessity in today's work environment, but working long hours robs people of time to rest, recharge, and maintain balance. Office complainers violate the boundaries of coworkers who want to get their work done. Define boundaries to avoid distractions and work more effectively.
3. Detach and distance. The essence of detachment is not to react emotionally. One detachment technique requires reframing how people see another person's words and actions: don't take his or her words personally. Instead, accept that the words reflect that person's inner turmoil or frustration with life.
4. Allow for down time. Everyone needs down time to reflect, process experiences, and reflect on the past and the future. Down time is usually solitary time. It can involve reading, gardening, writing, painting, meditating, praying or performing any other activity that helps to re-center oneself with what they consider important.
5. Honor the Sabbath or create one as a contemplative day. Incorporate calming music, creative activities, or relaxing time with a loved one. These activities will re-center and restore energy levels before returning to work.
6. Make "To Do" Lists. Lists are wonderful organizational tools -- they can help people decide what's important and what isn't, as well as to help remember what must be done. Everything on the lists will not be completed each day, so transfer uncompleted tasks to the list for the next day. Do the same each day. Distinguish between needs and wants.
7. Control shopping. Appreciate current possessions.
8. De-clutter. People can ask themselves whether all their activities and friends enhance the quality of their life or leave them feeling stretched thin and tired.

Get Enough Rest

1. Cut back on sugars and refined carbohydrates. These foods trigger rapid increases and decreases in blood sugar, which leaves people feeling tired and wanting caffeine as a stimulant.
2. Don't eat late dinners, and don't eat any food after 7:30 p.m. Eating a late dinner can result in either low or high blood sugar levels by morning.
3. Go to bed at a consistent time. People often push themselves on workdays, staying up too late and waking up early. Come the weekend, people sleep late, going from feeling sleep deprived to sleep saturated.
4. Prepare for sleep early in the evening. People can brush their teeth early in the evening to discourage them from eating later that evening. About one hour before bed, turn the lights low, turn off the television, and read. Tape late-evening television shows for another time.
5. Keep the television out of the bedroom. The bedroom is for three activities: sex, pillow talk, and sleep.
6. Keep the laptop computer out of the bedroom. Some people think working side by side in bed is a form of intimacy, but it may be a sign of stress, obsessive-compulsive behavior, and a lack of boundaries between personal and professional lives.
7. Arrange and decorate the bedroom for relaxation. Bedroom clutter often reflects a cluttered life and mind, making it difficult to settle down for a restful sleep. Consider painting at least one wall a light green, lavender, or mauve; these colors can help soothe nerves.

Build Resilience

1. Dealing effectively with change, disappointment, and adversity is central to being resilient.
2. Learn from negative experiences and follow the adage of "turning lemons into lemonade."
3. Learn how to adapt to change instead of fighting it.
4. Step out of the comfort zone and do something new, such as going to a modern dance performance, an art museum, a rodeo or a country music concert.
5. Pay attention to and learn from experiences to avoid repeating the same negative patterns.

Appreciate Being in the Moment

1. Be aware of the immediacy of people, surroundings, and events.
2. Focus on the present without being distracted.
3. Don't dwell on the past.
4. Don't fantasize or have expectations about the future. People or experiences often fail to meet expectations, leaving feelings of disappointment or depression. Expectations are often nothing more than wishful thinking, distracting people from being in the moment.

Accept and Laugh about the Everyday Silliness in Life

Laughter has a powerful and positive effect on both physical and mental health. Years ago, when the writer Norman Cousins was bedridden with a serious illness, he used vitamin C and laughter -- watching old Three Stooges movies -- to recover.

Lee S. Berk, M.D., of the Loma Linda University School of Medicine, California, found that laughing led to significant reductions in hormones and stress-related neurotransmitters. In later experiments, Berk reported that laughter boosted the activity of immune cells, which helps to fight colds, flu and other diseases.

Here are a few of the many benefits of laughing:

1. It is good for the heart.
2. It improves overall circulation.
3. It reduces blood sugar levels.
4. It eases muscle tension.
5. It encourages deep, healthy breathing.
6. It can produce significant changes in neurohormones and neurotransmitters.

Deal with Negative Emotions

Negative emotions can churn inside a person and affect their moods for months or years, and they can resurface and destroy relationships. The negative emotions that people repeatedly brood over or act out are what is known as "emotional baggage." This baggage is likely related to past hurts. These events might also persist in one's mind because of the "I-should-have-done syndrome", in which someone later realizes that they might have been more assertive in speaking out or acting on their own behalf.

To let go of negative emotions, people first have to take responsibility, or ownership, for their words and actions. This means not blaming other people for their frustrations, but instead recognizing their own mistakes or the situations they got themselves into. Taking ownership can be difficult because many of people have grown up believing they will be punished for what they've done wrong, and often lie or deny to avoid punishment.

Tips for dealing with negative emotions:

1. Admit mistakes and apologize when wrong.
2. Allow one minute each day for thinking about what's right in one's life.
3. Improve self-talk. Some people say negative things about themselves in their minds. Work on changing these negative feelings into positive affirmations.
4. Stop trying to control other people.
5. Express gratitude and forgiveness. Gratitude and forgiveness are two antidotes for resentments and grudges. The positive nature of these emotions will help to vanquish self-harmful negative emotions and buoy mood-enhancing neurotransmitters.

Cultivate Healthy Relationships

A good relationship requires dealing with negative feelings that have been accumulated over the years and having honest, tactful communication with another person. Differences of opinion are inevitable, and most people know that it's much easier to avoid uncomfortable subjects -- until the resentments explode in anger. It takes time, hard work, and a conscientious approach to resolve the inevitable disagreements in a fair and equitable way and to know when to ignore some issues (such as the other person's quirks).

The Conversation Cafe concept, which began in Seattle and is now active in many cities, revolves around small groups of people engaging in thoughtful discussions. Each conversation focuses on a particular topic and lasts for about one and one-half hours. Before the actual conversation begins, participants agree to honor and follow several ground rules.

Follow these agreements for healthy conversations at the Conversation Cafe, as well as, in life:

1. Listen with respect.
2. Seek to understand rather than to persuade.
3. Suspend judgment to the best of one's ability.
4. Invite and honor diversity of opinion.
5. Speak from the heart with personal meaning.
6. Go for honesty and depth without going on and on.

Allowing people to safely express their feelings without fear of criticism or attack is one reason why the Conversation Cafe concept has been so successful. Someone may not totally agree with the other person's views, but they have their own unique experience that needs to be respected. To find out more about the organization and its locations, go to: www.conversationcafe.org.

More tips on cultivating healthy relationships:

1. Learn to listen and validate. Acknowledging another person's experience is the essence of validation.
2. Listen without being reactive. When a person is criticized, it's natural to go on the offensive.
3. Don't take everything personally. What people say or do is reflective of their own personalities not the behavior of the other person.

 

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