Surviving America's Depression Epidemic: How to Find Morale, Energy, and Community in a World Gone Crazy

By Bruce E. Levine, Ph.D.

Summarized with permission of Chelsea Green.
All rights reserved.

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Self-Absorption, Self-Acceptance, Self-Release, and Life beyond Self

Work in consumer culture is frequently a source of boredom and discontent for adults, as school is for youth. People need work that is in alignment with their integrity or beliefs in addition to the money it provides. While starting a new career later in life can be daunting, people who are unfulfilled in their current work need to take the risk to find fulfilling work, if possible.

Self-discipline is also a requirement for self-acceptance and success. This is not the same as compliance, which makes people feel weak and resentful. Self-discipline is the act of personally choosing positive behaviors that increase self-confidence and strength.

People typically see themselves as either fragile or resilient (the ability to quickly recover from setbacks). Fragile people are overwhelmed by difficulties in life and have trouble finding the way through them. Resilient people see the difficulties as challenges in a game and enjoy figuring out the path ahead. These people tend to have gained some skills in childhood that help them feel more competent in the world.

Cognitive-behavioral therapy or CBT has become more important with the rise of psychotropic drugs. The purpose of this approach is to help people replace their negative thoughts and behaviors with positive ones. Negative thinkers tend to see a bad event as long-term and affecting everything, whereas positive thinkers see the bad event as short-term and isolated to the specific event. While focusing on the negative can lead to depression, sometimes negative thoughts are realistic -- for short periods.

A good diet and moderate exercise can help overcome depression and low morale. Providing proper nutrition to the body allows it to feel better. A Duke University study found that people who did moderate exercise relieved their depression better than people who took Zoloft and those who took Zoloft plus exercising, even six months after the study.

Self-release involves moving out of self-absorption into a broader perspective of self and the world. Guidance for this process is available from Buddha, Jesus, Spinoza and other wisdom teachers. Ego detachment is also part of self-release that allows us to take ourselves less seriously and with perspective. This process can be assisted by prayer, meditation, and listening to or playing uplifting music.

Moving beyond the self can also happen through nonhuman relationships. Hiking in the wilderness, growing a garden, and playing with a pet can all bring pleasure and healing as well as connection with the sacred or greater life. Self-directed learning can also bring energy to one's life, as can being fully present in the current moment.

Making positive contact with others can sometimes be a challenge if people are shy or extremely blunt. Maintaining positive connections within a marriage can be even more challenging. In John Gottman's study of more than 2,000 marriages, he found that five times more positive than negative events are needed to keep the relationship going. Negative events such as arguments are typical in any relationship but they must be balanced by many more positive items such as caring, compliments, and affection.

When people are hurt in a close relationship, they either retreat or attack. Both actions will cause problems if not changed. It can be a challenge to stop the compulsive response and think through a better choice of action.

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